When's the last time you and your partner had a conflict? Maybe you're in one right now?
Every relationship experiences conflict. Studies from The Gottman Institute show that even happy couples leave about 69% of their issues unresolved, which will inevitably escalate. It’s part of being human.
What many people don't realise: Recovering from a conflict with your partner is a skill that can be learned. So better make sure you know how you and your partner find your way back to each other after the clash.
Here are six steps to help you practice that muscle.

1. Settle Yourself First
Things don't work out well when emotions are high. Take a moment away from the heat of the argument. Walk around the block, write down your feelings, exercise, or try a simple breathing technique.
Calming your mind and body is the first step to recovery.
2. Check In With Your Emotions
To effectively resolve a conflict, you have to do your homework: Explore what you felt during the conflict. Were you hurt, afraid, or frustrated? And what exactly triggered these feelings?
Understanding these emotions helps you see the true source of your reaction and communicate more honestly. And it's an opportunity for true growth.
3. Acknowledge Your Role
It's much easier to find blame in your partner. But the truth is, conflicts rarely happen without both sides contributing.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes, and reflect on what you did or said that caused harm. Owning your actions builds trust and shows you care about moving forward with respect.
4. Reach Out When You’re Ready
Once both of you have had time to reflect, start a conversation. Someone has to take the initiative. This might feel vulnerable, but it’s a crucial step in reconnecting.
You don’t have to rush this. It’s ok to be in this state for a while - conflicts are part of every healthy relationship.
5. Share Your Feelings and Insights
Communicate what you’ve learned about the conflict. What you believe about where things went wrong, and how together you can find a way to resolve the issue, together with your partner.
This step is crucial to creating the foundation for growth together.
Nurture Emotional Connection
Conflicts become easier to overcome when you share a strong emotional connection. You do that by making time for regular moments of closeness—quality time without distractions, simple acts of kindness, or simply being present together.
A practice of mindfulness helps create a calm, understanding atmosphere in your relationship, so you can find your way back from conflict to connection.
For couples meditations designed to support your emotional connection, visit dearbutterflies.com.
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